Hey, if no one is even reading this thing anymore, I'm gonna post more Vandals songs.  Who's gonna bitch?

For Christmas a co-worker (or as Scott Adams likes to say, cow-orker) gave me a $50 Amazon gift code.  Yeah, I know, cow-orkers usually aren't that generous.  But I guess he was overcome with the holiday spirit, and I got to reap the rewards.  Huzzah!  And I didn't get him anything.  I suck like that.  But I'll be sure to get him something good next year.  In any event, I used the gift code to pick up, among other things, the Vandals DVD Live at the House of Blues, so now I have the Vandals on the brain.  More than usual, I mean.

You may have heard some people, stand-up comics and what not, make note how we lament the plight of dolphins and whales while saying nothing about the tuna?  Well, there was a Vandals song written about that very issue, called "The Unseen Tears of the Albacore."  It's featured on the live DVD as well as the 2002 album Internet Dating Superstuds, which I happened to download from Amazon a year ago today.  Yeah, I just noticed that when I went to grab the album image.

So I guess having Vandals-related New Year's Eves is slowly becoming a tradition.  Maybe next year I'll download another album, or buy another concert DVD.  Or perhaps I'll just vandalize something.

Hear "The Unseen Tears of the Albacore" on YouTube.

Watch the Live at the House of Blues segment with the "Freese-Cam."

Write it off as some sort of "jazz wankfest" all you want.  But I'll say it again - Sting's mid-80s "Blue Turtles" band, featuring the likes of Branford Marsalis, Omar Hakim and the late Kenny Kirkland, was simply one of the most amazing bands I've ever heard.  They could play, and they could groove.  When you can merge both playing skill with this kind of visceral quality, I be a happy camper.

The 1984 Bring on the Night live album/documentary film featured a terrific reinterpretation of the Police standard "Driven to Tears."  It is hardly a wankfest.

Hear "Driven to Tears" on YouTube.

Watch the Bring on the Night film segment.

OK, guess I need to get back into the proverbial swing of things.  Hmm, should I post an actual swing tune?

Nah, I'm gonna bring some speed metal instead.  One of my holiday goodies this year was a "deluxe" reissue of the 1987 Anthrax album Among the Living.  I was playing it during the commute this morning, and I must say I was rather pleased with how the new version sounded.  Usually when something gets "remastered", an alarm goes off and I worry about yet another Loudness War casualty.  Was the sound genuinely improved, or did they just squash the hell out of it and make it as loud as possible?

Luckily this new remaster is nice and meaty without having its waveforms transformed into giant bricks.

Hear "Efilnikufesin (N.F.L)" on YouTube.

Going out of town for Christmas week, so this will most likely be the last post for a while.  Until I make my triumphant (ha) return, hey, go stuff yourself silly and get some cool toys.  Don't give people lame crap.  Contrary to the beliefs of some, gift cards ARE a good thing, provided they are the right kind.  They're both thoughtful and convenient.  No excuse for dispensing the Chia Pets in this day and age.

If you have to spend time with relatives you don't like, hey, suck it up.  They're still your relatives.

Watch a fanvid for "A Christmas Carol" on YouTube.

This is part of a week-long series on anti-Christmas songs.

Obviously I don't dispense much of anything that resembles country here.  But for funny Christmas songs, I'll make an exception.

How exactly would you bust Santa for flying while bombed?  Would the Airborne Reindeer Patrol have to pull him over or something?  "OK, please put down the reins and the bottle of Jack and step out of the sleigh, sir..."

Watch a fan-made video for "Santa Got a DWI" on YouTube.

This is part of a week-long series on anti-Christmas songs.

Usually when people say they don't believe in Christmas it's because they are/aren't beholden to some kind of religious doctrine.  In the case of this 60s tune's protagonist, he simply got stiffed the year before.

Now there's a guy with his priorities straight.

Hear "Don't Believe in Christmas" on YouTube.

This is part of a week-long series on anti-Christmas songs.

Australians are funny.

(tee hee hee)

OK, it looks like I don't get enough funny Google search hits to post one every week.  I'll just put them up as they happen, when they happen.  If they happen.  God, no one reads this thing anymore.  So, having said that:

AMUSING GOOGLE SEARCH HIT ALERT:  "Christmas Card From A Hooker In Memphis"  Oooooops...

Watch a fanvid for "Ho Ho F**king Ho" on YouTube.  Profanities abound.

This is part of a week-long series on anti-Christmas songs.

Did you know Billy Idol put a new album out in 2005?  Well, OK, maybe you did.  I had no idea.  In any case, when our favorite little blond English punker from the 80s put out Devil's Playground, he included this festive yuletide ditty about that most heralded of holiday traditions - the obnoxious, alcoholic family patriarch!

Hear "Yellin' at the Xmas Tree" on YouTube.

This is part of a week-long series on anti-Christmas songs.